He is the guy that,
when I am scared, he will be by my side
when I need him, he will try his best to be there;
even when he's really tired or when he's sleeping,
he would wake up, get out from the bed and guide me through the dark at night just because I told him that I was scared to go there alone.
This, makes him "the" guy.
People might think that a guy waking up in the middle of the night and accompany a girl to the kitchen isn't that great of a deal.
But to me, other than my dad, he is the second man who would do that for me.
Friday, December 30, 2011
Monday, January 24, 2011
我还是长不大
不晓得是什么原因。我总是那么的幼稚。
难道是我不想长大吗？心里真的存有这个想法很多遍了。但，残酷的现实总有办法将我拉回现实世界。
20岁那年的农历新年，差不多全家都跟我说了同样的一句话：“婉艳，你都要20岁了，不要再这么幼稚了，应该成熟一些。要有20岁人的样子。”
爸爸说过了，妈妈也说了，甚至连姐姐也重复了很多遍。。。。。。
那时，我觉得真的很烦。虽然我知道他们都是为我好，他们说的都是有道理的，但是，我幼稚的心一直拼命地抵抗这个现实。
到了独自飞到美国修学的日子了 --- 又是一个对我来说可怕的现实。
自以为很坚强地飞来美国。很自以为事地尽量适应美国的生活。什么问题都往自己身上扛，因为我知道，除了我自己，是没有人可以帮我扛的，虽然我经常都在想着逃避的选择。做事很小心翼翼。非常害怕会得罪人，尤其是我天身就神经大条。我不会在意或我能接受的事情，可能大多数人都不能接受。也可能是这样，所以我还蛮容易得罪人的。幸好，上天对我不薄。送了三位了解我本性和为人的好朋友。其实，我不算很贪心吧。我觉得有三位已经很高兴及满足了。可惜，远水不能救近火。但，偶尔有他们陪我聊天，我已觉得欣慰。
经历了一个孤独的学期，我以为我终于长大了、成长了、成熟了。可是，今天发现我还是幼稚的。我，就像个小孩子一样，将当天做了的好事通通一字不漏地仔细告诉他。就像个长不大的孩子，将当天抄好的笔记或做好的功课或考得好的成绩单呈现给他看，希望获取赞赏及鼓励的话或礼物。
原来，我就是那么的幼稚、那么的长不大、那么的小孩子、那么的白痴。。。果然是神经大条，不懂得怎么做人。
我本身的存在就是一个问题？一个累赘？一个包袱？
可能吧。
看来这期间，我太看得起自己了。=D
难道是我不想长大吗？心里真的存有这个想法很多遍了。但，残酷的现实总有办法将我拉回现实世界。
20岁那年的农历新年，差不多全家都跟我说了同样的一句话：“婉艳，你都要20岁了，不要再这么幼稚了，应该成熟一些。要有20岁人的样子。”
爸爸说过了，妈妈也说了，甚至连姐姐也重复了很多遍。。。。。。
那时，我觉得真的很烦。虽然我知道他们都是为我好，他们说的都是有道理的，但是，我幼稚的心一直拼命地抵抗这个现实。
到了独自飞到美国修学的日子了 --- 又是一个对我来说可怕的现实。
自以为很坚强地飞来美国。很自以为事地尽量适应美国的生活。什么问题都往自己身上扛，因为我知道，除了我自己，是没有人可以帮我扛的，虽然我经常都在想着逃避的选择。做事很小心翼翼。非常害怕会得罪人，尤其是我天身就神经大条。我不会在意或我能接受的事情，可能大多数人都不能接受。也可能是这样，所以我还蛮容易得罪人的。幸好，上天对我不薄。送了三位了解我本性和为人的好朋友。其实，我不算很贪心吧。我觉得有三位已经很高兴及满足了。可惜，远水不能救近火。但，偶尔有他们陪我聊天，我已觉得欣慰。
经历了一个孤独的学期，我以为我终于长大了、成长了、成熟了。可是，今天发现我还是幼稚的。我，就像个小孩子一样，将当天做了的好事通通一字不漏地仔细告诉他。就像个长不大的孩子，将当天抄好的笔记或做好的功课或考得好的成绩单呈现给他看，希望获取赞赏及鼓励的话或礼物。
原来，我就是那么的幼稚、那么的长不大、那么的小孩子、那么的白痴。。。果然是神经大条，不懂得怎么做人。
我本身的存在就是一个问题？一个累赘？一个包袱？
可能吧。
看来这期间，我太看得起自己了。=D
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Great Efforts Do Pay Off
Since the day I came to U.S., I have not updated anything here.
Feel sorry for those who have visited my blog for updates, especially my best friends.
This would be the first post written in U.S.
Around 4.45 am [ya, I know it's really late now. Daddy, don't scold me... IT'S HOLIDAY! just a few days. XD]
I began checking my FB and my email for updates after watching the whole tvb drama - 谈情说案. Had been wanted to watch it but I didn't have time for the whole drama. [I know I'll keep on watching until I have finished it, just like yesterday and today.]
But this is not the point.
It's about the great news I have found out after checking my email and blackboard!
Finally, after sending an email to my English professor, Joseph Scott, to ask him about my final grade, he replied me on the 18th morning!!! [but I didn't check till then.] He told me I got an A for the course! 930/1000
IT IS SO UNBELIEVABLE!!!
I thought I was going to get only an A- for it. All my efforts paid off!
Then, I quickly checked my blackboard to see if grades for other courses were out, and they are!!!
I have to thank my U.S. History TA, Darin Tuck, for giving me 96 for my finals. I would never expect such score for this course. It is so surprising! Because, without a complete study guide like the midterm before, I thought I was going to screw up the final, especially having 2 finals with only half an hour difference in between. [1-3pm: US History ; 3.30pm-5.30pm: Stat] I studied madly in my room. Kept memorizing the facts repeatedly. It was even the first thing that came to my mind when I woke up from my sleep the day before the two finals. Ah~ thank god... my efforts... they gave me the perfect reward. A minus is considered good enough. I feel really grateful.
Stat result has not yet updated. I guess it'll be out by this coming Monday. Hope I did well. Stat final was a very risky exam. If there's a part of a question wrong, the answer for others would be wrong too. If so, it would be a disaster. =(
As for Art Appreciation, final score is out but, she is still considering to curve the exam. Hopefully, I can get an A even though I did badly in final. got 12 questions, which is very unexpected cuz I studied very hard for it too. I can even remember what I've studied for the final. Because of the extra credits I got and the participation points she gave me, I think I have a high chance of getting an A. HOPEFULLY. pobi pobi...上天保佑。
It's the first time since college that I don't have to cry over my results for every semester. I don't have to feel so bad or depressed. It's the first time that I really work hard for those courses. erm...haiz, but I still have to admit that I did play a lot too. Like FB games, skype, chatting, online shopping, watching drama and series episodes thro PPS etc... No matter what, I feel like a crazy girl right now, for smiling involuntary, but having the feeling to cry too. I don't know why. It's a new feeling to me.
Anyway, I have to thank all my professors, instructors and friends who have helped me in this semester. I feel lucky to have known you, to have encountered such nice people.
Not to forget my mom, who has prayed for me. I was too nervous about the finals that I lost my confidence. Therefore, I asked my mom to pray for me, 拜神. She told me not to just rely on God. I should decide my destiny with my own effort. God can't help much without me working hard for my goals. Thanks for encouraging me, Mi~ I love you! I told you that I did study. Do you believe in me now? Since little, you have always scolded me for being a lazy pig. Always play and watch TV. You said you have never seen me studying before. Ya, you were right. I seldom studied in those years when I was in secondary school or primary school. I screwed up my first semester in INTI for playing too much like I used to before that. And I'll always remember the message papa sent me, "don't dig your own grave". Sorry for having both of you to worry about my results and health. I hope this great news will cheer you up, just like the night when you hugged me after we found out that I've gotten the scholarship. I know that this is just the beginning. I hope I won't let you down for the coming semester. I am very sure that it's full of new challenges, maybe they are even tougher. But I have learned that "everyone's life is full with challenges. they seem very hard at first, but when we look back after solving them, they seem so easy".
Life with no challenges is not life.
Feel sorry for those who have visited my blog for updates, especially my best friends.
This would be the first post written in U.S.
Around 4.45 am [ya, I know it's really late now. Daddy, don't scold me... IT'S HOLIDAY! just a few days. XD]
I began checking my FB and my email for updates after watching the whole tvb drama - 谈情说案. Had been wanted to watch it but I didn't have time for the whole drama. [I know I'll keep on watching until I have finished it, just like yesterday and today.]
But this is not the point.
It's about the great news I have found out after checking my email and blackboard!
Finally, after sending an email to my English professor, Joseph Scott, to ask him about my final grade, he replied me on the 18th morning!!! [but I didn't check till then.] He told me I got an A for the course! 930/1000
IT IS SO UNBELIEVABLE!!!
I thought I was going to get only an A- for it. All my efforts paid off!
Then, I quickly checked my blackboard to see if grades for other courses were out, and they are!!!
I have to thank my U.S. History TA, Darin Tuck, for giving me 96 for my finals. I would never expect such score for this course. It is so surprising! Because, without a complete study guide like the midterm before, I thought I was going to screw up the final, especially having 2 finals with only half an hour difference in between. [1-3pm: US History ; 3.30pm-5.30pm: Stat] I studied madly in my room. Kept memorizing the facts repeatedly. It was even the first thing that came to my mind when I woke up from my sleep the day before the two finals. Ah~ thank god... my efforts... they gave me the perfect reward. A minus is considered good enough. I feel really grateful.
Stat result has not yet updated. I guess it'll be out by this coming Monday. Hope I did well. Stat final was a very risky exam. If there's a part of a question wrong, the answer for others would be wrong too. If so, it would be a disaster. =(
As for Art Appreciation, final score is out but, she is still considering to curve the exam. Hopefully, I can get an A even though I did badly in final. got 12 questions, which is very unexpected cuz I studied very hard for it too. I can even remember what I've studied for the final. Because of the extra credits I got and the participation points she gave me, I think I have a high chance of getting an A. HOPEFULLY. pobi pobi...上天保佑。
It's the first time since college that I don't have to cry over my results for every semester. I don't have to feel so bad or depressed. It's the first time that I really work hard for those courses. erm...haiz, but I still have to admit that I did play a lot too. Like FB games, skype, chatting, online shopping, watching drama and series episodes thro PPS etc... No matter what, I feel like a crazy girl right now, for smiling involuntary, but having the feeling to cry too. I don't know why. It's a new feeling to me.
Anyway, I have to thank all my professors, instructors and friends who have helped me in this semester. I feel lucky to have known you, to have encountered such nice people.
Not to forget my mom, who has prayed for me. I was too nervous about the finals that I lost my confidence. Therefore, I asked my mom to pray for me, 拜神. She told me not to just rely on God. I should decide my destiny with my own effort. God can't help much without me working hard for my goals. Thanks for encouraging me, Mi~ I love you! I told you that I did study. Do you believe in me now? Since little, you have always scolded me for being a lazy pig. Always play and watch TV. You said you have never seen me studying before. Ya, you were right. I seldom studied in those years when I was in secondary school or primary school. I screwed up my first semester in INTI for playing too much like I used to before that. And I'll always remember the message papa sent me, "don't dig your own grave". Sorry for having both of you to worry about my results and health. I hope this great news will cheer you up, just like the night when you hugged me after we found out that I've gotten the scholarship. I know that this is just the beginning. I hope I won't let you down for the coming semester. I am very sure that it's full of new challenges, maybe they are even tougher. But I have learned that "everyone's life is full with challenges. they seem very hard at first, but when we look back after solving them, they seem so easy".
Life with no challenges is not life.
Thursday, August 5, 2010
I WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER TONIGHT
What a nice family I have.
And how nice my family has treated me, especially my dad and my elder sister.
Thank you for the help.
To wake me up to see the reality.
This help is really growing me up.
To understand the wonderful family I have.
Since Form 2, I have learned a good moral lesson - to thank people.
But I never thought that I will get to apply it to my family.
I thought I will going to apply to outsiders only.
Thank you guys, now I know.
And forever, I will remember.
And how nice my family has treated me, especially my dad and my elder sister.
Thank you for the help.
To wake me up to see the reality.
This help is really growing me up.
To understand the wonderful family I have.
Since Form 2, I have learned a good moral lesson - to thank people.
But I never thought that I will get to apply it to my family.
I thought I will going to apply to outsiders only.
Thank you guys, now I know.
And forever, I will remember.
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Updates for Random Post
It's night meaning it's morning in Missouri.
So, I got my email from both International Student Coordinator and Selina Zhu (person who subleases her room to me).
The coordinator, Becky told me that I have to take both exams and Mizzou might prefer me to have my MMR vaccination there and TB test MUST be done there. Vaccination Cost: around $150!!! So expensive!
As for Selina, she replied me that the apartment is on the third floor, HIGHEST floor of the building.
I AM SO DEAD.
However, there is one good news. The shuttle bus is FREE! So, I can save $35.00. Awesome~
Digression:
I learned how to play Minesweeper today! I know I'm lame, for learning this game so late. Anyway, thanks to my dear Jishuen Kam. ^.^
So, I got my email from both International Student Coordinator and Selina Zhu (person who subleases her room to me).
The coordinator, Becky told me that I have to take both exams and Mizzou might prefer me to have my MMR vaccination there and TB test MUST be done there. Vaccination Cost: around $150!!! So expensive!
As for Selina, she replied me that the apartment is on the third floor, HIGHEST floor of the building.
I AM SO DEAD.
However, there is one good news. The shuttle bus is FREE! So, I can save $35.00. Awesome~
Digression:
I learned how to play Minesweeper today! I know I'm lame, for learning this game so late. Anyway, thanks to my dear Jishuen Kam. ^.^
Random
I dare not count down for the date. I know it's getting near. I do not dare to count if it's next week. Just let it be.
Ying Ting was saying that she hopes she can go to the states early. I was like "what?!". Ok, I really hope that I can stay longer here in Malaysia so that I can have a trip to JB. Hope to see him and his nephews. They are so "chu bi".
[From his brother's album]
Too bad that even if I have finished packing all the things needed, I don't think my dad would allow me to go to KL or JB as well. He's scared that bad things like accident might happen or I might be too tired after the trip, etc. =( I really wish I could go there.
Just finished packing one of my luggage bags. Weighed it on a normal weighting scale. 21-22kg. Now I have to think what to put in another luggage bag as base because most of my clothes have been put into the first bag to be the base. I think the second bag would mostly be filled with shampoos, toothpastes, cosmetics, facial cleansers, stationeries, shoes, inner wear, medicines and etc.
This morning, I received an email from my uni's officer, sending me a link containing my orientation schedule pdf file. Unhappy to realize that I have English Placement Exam and ALEKS Math Placement Exam on the same day which will be on 17th August in the morning 8am until afternoon. =( So I wrote an email to her, asking her whether I must take those exams and if I do, what are covered in the exams. Hopefully I'll receive her email by tonight. I have health screening on 16th as well. I think it might be TB test.
Recently, I just realized that The Reverse [the place where I'm going to live for a year] has no private bus for the residents. So, every month, I have to pay extra $35.00 for the bus fares. How disappointing. This makes me think of moving after staying there for a year. Hmm...I shall keep this thought to myself first.
Moreover, I have missed out one important aspect when I chose The Reserve. I wasn't aware that there are many floors in building of The Reserve. I don't actually know how many floors are there in one typical building, but I guess it's either 3 floors or 4. If I happened to live on the highest floor, it would be like living in Block S forth floor again. That was terrible!!! Imagine I reach there at noon with 2 huge luggages, total of 46kg plus with a hand luggage of 5kg plus a backpack. I have no idea how I am going to carry the two huge luggages where each weighs 23kg up to forth floor. Even if I live in third floor, this is going to be a huge pain in the ass. I just have to pray hard and hope that there's someone, may be a maintenance guy will help me to carry those luggages for me, free. I think I'm running out of hope because I notice that I kept using "hope" for my problems.
Ying Ting was saying that she hopes she can go to the states early. I was like "what?!". Ok, I really hope that I can stay longer here in Malaysia so that I can have a trip to JB. Hope to see him and his nephews. They are so "chu bi".
[From his brother's album]
-Ryan-
-Ronan running in the front, Ryan chasing at the back-
Just finished packing one of my luggage bags. Weighed it on a normal weighting scale. 21-22kg. Now I have to think what to put in another luggage bag as base because most of my clothes have been put into the first bag to be the base. I think the second bag would mostly be filled with shampoos, toothpastes, cosmetics, facial cleansers, stationeries, shoes, inner wear, medicines and etc.
This morning, I received an email from my uni's officer, sending me a link containing my orientation schedule pdf file. Unhappy to realize that I have English Placement Exam and ALEKS Math Placement Exam on the same day which will be on 17th August in the morning 8am until afternoon. =( So I wrote an email to her, asking her whether I must take those exams and if I do, what are covered in the exams. Hopefully I'll receive her email by tonight. I have health screening on 16th as well. I think it might be TB test.
Recently, I just realized that The Reverse [the place where I'm going to live for a year] has no private bus for the residents. So, every month, I have to pay extra $35.00 for the bus fares. How disappointing. This makes me think of moving after staying there for a year. Hmm...I shall keep this thought to myself first.
Moreover, I have missed out one important aspect when I chose The Reserve. I wasn't aware that there are many floors in building of The Reserve. I don't actually know how many floors are there in one typical building, but I guess it's either 3 floors or 4. If I happened to live on the highest floor, it would be like living in Block S forth floor again. That was terrible!!! Imagine I reach there at noon with 2 huge luggages, total of 46kg plus with a hand luggage of 5kg plus a backpack. I have no idea how I am going to carry the two huge luggages where each weighs 23kg up to forth floor. Even if I live in third floor, this is going to be a huge pain in the ass. I just have to pray hard and hope that there's someone, may be a maintenance guy will help me to carry those luggages for me, free. I think I'm running out of hope because I notice that I kept using "hope" for my problems.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Finally, it's DONE!
After struggling really hard for almost a month, I'm officially done with my housing. ^.^v
First of all, I felt really bad for breaking my promise to a girl. Luckily she has found someone. If not, I can't imagine how terrible the issue will be. I guess she definitely hates me now. So, again, I am sorry.
Secondly, thanks to Hoay Lynn, Lit Ung and Chi Kai in helping me for the room at The Reserve. If Hoay Lynn had not told me about the room, I wouldn't have found it. That was super helpful. Thanks a lot my pretty senior. As for Chi Kai, thanks for calling me and answering my questions. However, you gave me the wrong info about the way to pay online. As long as you have VISA or MASTERCARD, regardless of which bank and which country, you can pay online. And my facial expression turned to =.=" when I saw the back of my dad's credit card written "VALID WORLDWIDE" in capital letter. As for Lit Ung, thanks for spending time to listen to my whines and story, plus explaining to me the real situation to clear my mind.Thank you guys.
During the process of finding a suitable and great housing, my best friend, Lexie Lee has definitely been very helpful to me. She tried to help me in every possible ways which I felt really grateful to have her as my best friend, even until now or maybe in the future, I will remember it. Besides, when I nearly collapsed, Jishuen stood by my side, helping me to find available housing during the night until early morning when he could just sleep. I felt lucky to you by my side every time to back me up. Thank you, my dearest Lexie and Jishuen.
Guess how much do I have to pay? $1125.00
Yes! It is in Dollar, not Malaysia Ringgit.
Here is the breaking down of the total:
Deposit is $750 [two-month rent]
First installment payment is $375 [first-month rent]
Expensive huh? But it's nearer than the one I found in the first place. It's 2.4 miles away from my campus. The rent includes water, internet and all the other amenities. The great thing about it is that it's fully furnished with full-size bed, dresser, built-in computer desk, ceiling fan, couch, chair, coffee and end table, TV stand, dining room table, four chairs. [copy paste from the webpage. XD] Though I have no idea now of who I'll be living with but luckily it has individual bedroom lock. Plus, it's great to have bathroom attached to my bedroom.
Here's the example of floor plan:
Some other photos on facebook:
[These photos are from Chi Kai's photo album. I hope he won't mind. =)]
-Living Room-
-Kitchen-
-Bathroom-
-View from Balcony- (I think)
By checking out his album, only then I know that his girlfriend is a good cook. I think I'll be going to his place quite often. ^.^ [paisei har...本小姐是不会煮饭菜的]
Hope his girlfriend won't just cook specifically for him only. Haha! [I want 'tumpang']
p/s: I can wash the dishes after having the meal... heee heee...
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