Friday Night

Now, I feel as if I were in my first semester in INTI. Friday night was always the "best" night.

Yoke Ching, I think you know what I always do on Friday night, right? I miss you now. I really miss you now. You are the only one that I miss so much, despite of my family. I need you now. I really need you. I tried very hard to hold myself. I managed to win but for only 10 minutes. And now, I totally fail to control it. I have trained myself so hard to live without you. I have trained myself to be tough for all the time. Why am I so weak still? I smile, I control, I hold it back, trying the best I could. Why can't I live just like any others? Yoke Ching, tell me! Why!!! I tried so hard to hide all of it. But, that is impossible for me to cover every hole that exists. There must be a way out to balance it. So, here I am. With no way to go, I come to my blog to make it a way out for it. No one understands except you, my dear. Why didn't you online? I really need you right now. But, I never blame you. I understand that you have your own life to take care of, your new environment in UWash. I hope everything goes the way you want it. I hope your dreams will come true. I don't want to be your burden. I want to be your bff. I dare not ask too much from you even if you don't mind. I really miss you, ah Ching. I really do. You are the best thing that ever happens to me. I wanna hug you now, even if you hit me and push me away. Just for 5 minutes. That is all I ask for. Not much.

Tomorrow is going to be the Mooncake Festival. Remember our first ever Mooncake Festival? Joanne brought us jelly mooncake. That was the first time I saw jelly mooncake and the first time we celebrated it together. I miss the time when we still have each other, even the time we argue and fight with each other.
Friday night is torturing......


p/s: This is not a love letter. It's a post that I write for Yoke Ching and myself.